Kimmy’s Garden

My Grandmother spoke freely while making bread,
giving me hard learned advice while boiling the raisins for cake,
rolling out pie dough, crushing bread crumbs for stuffing,
all while humming church hymns…

My grandfather – passing through the kitchen every so often,
or from the living room – would make
[a joking yet pointed comment]

Don’t make your crust too thick!
Don’t add so much salt!
…throw that spilled salt over your shoulder
Don’t replace buttermilk with just milk…
…[add a tablespoon of white vinegar to make it curdle]
Don’t peek at the rice,
Don’t peek at the anglefood cake,
Don’t peek at the meringue browning,
Go on! Wait a minute …

Don’t eat more than 3 bites of your dessert,
Don’t LIVE to eat, EAT to live,
Don’t eat so much or you will get fat …[TER!!]
Don’t wear more than two colours of eyeshadow …[or you'll look like a slut!]
Don’t change a thing, you’re just right!
Honestly father!

Don’t take that tone with me young lady,
Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,
Don’t whistle while walking down a hallway:
…women who whistle always come to bad ends.
Don’t forget to count your blessings,
Don’t talk with your mouth full!!

Lorna April Carol Kimmy
Don’t start smoking just because it’s stylish,
Don’t frown or you’ll get wrinkles,
Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll stick that way,
Don’t pick your scabs or you’ll get scars,
Don’t eat with your elbows on the table,
Don’t go first up the stairs with a skirt on,
Don’t sit like THAT with a skirt on,
Don’t forget to keep some money in your skirt
…so you can always call home,
Don’t let a man buy you a drink unless you buy him one back,
Don’t go out dressed like that …[you look like a slut!]

Oh, and one more thing (whispered):
don’t marry the first man you sleep with… [ ]