Kimmy’s Garden

I am not sure if you have thought about this, but what about starting your own escort business on facebook (TM):

facehook - a Social Utility that connects you with the people around you, for cash. You could set up events, make a list of “friends”… I checked on the web and no-one has come up with it yet.

Sorry sorry, let’s forget the whole thing, forget I mentioned it; we’re all having a good time and of course someone had to wreck it. I think someone is putting thoughts into my head while I am sleeping… must check my wall-to-wall.

I think that it is actually a front for the FBI collecting all of our personal data and especially the tagging photos … what better way to get face shots of every one who knows so and so, they can now scan faces in surveillance capture film more thoroughly… And those applications! So fun, I am a big fan of the horoscopes app!

I am going to come up with an application that compares facial features of people on facebook to animals. People can tag their eyes, nose, mouth in different photos and run it (like CSI & fingerprints) through a db of tagged animal photos from National Geographic or something like that. There may be a problem of copy right, gotta re-think that. Ah! How cool would that be though? Now, if only I knew how to write the code …

NO stealing my ideas…

An afternoon class of writing poetry last week was quite an adventure. The instructor was Sheri-D Wilson, a fantastic Spoken-Word artist, one of the first & best as a matter of fact :-). If you do not know what Spoken-Word is, you simply must attend the Edmonton ROAR festival this September.

Anyway, I won’t ruin the magic by telling you in detail what we did all week in order to create, but it was a great week. Pick a theme, do some prompts, learn about others’ poetry, get inspired by each other, sharing our works of art, talk about what makes it soooo gooooood, and take it farther. The poem which I posted on June 8 is something I wrote from one of Sheri-D’s prompts using Anne Waldman’s “Fast Speaking Woman” poem. The next generation of poems you find posted here will be the product of the seeds of the vision that was planted in my brain (S&G) during this course led by Sheri-D through the Faculty of Extension.

Further to the poetry in Edmonton, I was always aware of the Stroll of Poet’s Society , the Stroll (October), and the 12 Days of Poetry (January). Then later I find out that I know Jocelyn Verret-Chiasson, the former President, who put on an enjoyably intimate suite of Monday night readings at the Upper Crust for $5 - and let me tell you, best entertainment a five spot can buy you. A great evening of poetry, socializing, and dessert with coffee!! I recommend this series of events to everyone.

This winter, again, I found out too late about the Raving Poet’s Society who were having readings as well on Wednesday nights at the Casbar (basement of Yianni’s on Whyte). Ah! Next season, I am there!

My Grandmother spoke freely while making bread,
giving me hard learned advice while boiling the raisins for cake,
rolling out pie dough, crushing bread crumbs for stuffing,
all while humming church hymns…

My grandfather - passing through the kitchen every so often,
or from the living room - would make
[a joking yet pointed comment]

Don’t make your crust too thick!
Don’t add so much salt!
…throw that spilled salt over your shoulder
Don’t replace buttermilk with just milk…
…[add a tablespoon of white vinegar to make it curdle]
Don’t peek at the rice,
Don’t peek at the anglefood cake,
Don’t peek at the meringue browning,
Go on! Wait a minute …

Don’t eat more than 3 bites of your dessert,
Don’t LIVE to eat, EAT to live,
Don’t eat so much or you will get fat …[TER!!]
Don’t wear more than two colours of eyeshadow …[or you'll look like a slut!]
Don’t change a thing, you’re just right!
Honestly father!

Don’t take that tone with me young lady,
Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,
Don’t whistle while walking down a hallway:
…women who whistle always come to bad ends.
Don’t forget to count your blessings,
Don’t talk with your mouth full!!

Lorna April Carol Kimmy
Don’t start smoking just because it’s stylish,
Don’t frown or you’ll get wrinkles,
Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll stick that way,
Don’t pick your scabs or you’ll get scars,
Don’t eat with your elbows on the table,
Don’t go first up the stairs with a skirt on,
Don’t sit like THAT with a skirt on,
Don’t forget to keep some money in your skirt
…so you can always call home,
Don’t let a man buy you a drink unless you buy him one back,
Don’t go out dressed like that …[you look like a slut!]

Oh, and one more thing (whispered):
don’t marry the first man you sleep with… [ ]